When is enough, enough?

Today my wife and I got into an altercation. I started with saying she doesn't do shit at home. I said that b/c we argued over me being selfish by grabbing the blanket without making the bed. Well that's when I said what I said. She yelled back, "Say it one more time". In which, I obliged her. She then punched me on my side.

Usually when we fight it ends up with her getting physical with me and not the good kind. She thinks women hitting men is justifiable. My wife has gotten away with it for years. So this sparks my question, when is it enough? I brush it off everytime but it doesn't mean it hurts any less. Why go to those extremes? Why get angry to the point your anger blinds you? I don't feel good typing this but I think today was enough. Let me continue my story... After she hit me I called her a dumb ass bitch. I'm sure you guessed it didn't go over well with her. She grabbed the TV remote and chunked it at the wall. I for sure thought she was gonna throw it at me. She then tried to grab my iPhone but I quickly grabbed it and moved it from harm's way. She leaned towards me like she was gonna grab me and that's when I said, "Stop hitting me!". I then pushed her on her chest with both hands and she fell back on the corner of the bed. She then rolled off the bed and bumped into the baby's mobile dresser. That bump knocked over a cup full of water which fell on her while she was on the floor.

Needless to say, it was a sad sight and the cup spilling over on her was the cherry on top. I feel like shit. I never pushed her like that. How do I go about fixing this? I love my very much and things our getting better in our relationship. Hell, I even spent my evening secretly shopping for Valentine's Day stuff for her and Gabriella. Idk how do I go about resolving this problem. This is one of worst/hardest post I had to type. FUCK!!!!!!!!