One of Those Things

Today we celebrated my niece's 5th birthday at CiCi's Pizza. It was awkward for me to spend time with my other sister and my other nieces. I feel like my father was the reason why they all treated to me so differently. You see, my father was notorious for domestic abuse and other things. So of course that never went well with my other family. I feel like I never belonged with them and so I exiled myself from my family. I gradually stopped showing up to family events/functions over time. I only saw my family if they came by my house to visit my mom or sister. It's kinda sad but I don't wanna pretend like I enjoy their company when I don't. I started to talk to my nieces again during high school but that contact ended when my son passed away at 7 months during pregnancy. I just completely cut ties from them after that. I feel like I even shut out my wife a little too. I feel lonely sometimes but with my baby girl she's slowly returning the light in a once dark and cold world...Hopefully one day this'll all change.